Q) Why do you have a FAQs page?
A) Because web designers who are much smarter than me (ie, all of them) claim that FAQ pages help search engines find and learn about websites such as mine.
Q) So this page only exists to help your Search Engine Optimization?
A) Yes. It also helps with my website’s “technical SEO.” I’m not sure what that is, but I hear it’s important.
Q) You mean I won’t find any actual questions and answers on this page?
A) Oh, you’ll find plenty of questions and answers. I’ve even formatted them in Q&A format with those cute little letters, to better help the search engines. Err, I mean, my visitors.
Q) So are you telling me there’s no information here, just a bunch of meaningless questions for the sake of SEO?
A) Au contraire, mon frère. Would you care to learn about my children’s poetry, picture books, anthologies, or school author visits? Perhaps my rates? Or my voiceover work?
Q) Hmmm…that sounds like you’re just listing a bunch of keywords to me.
A) Sorry, I can’t respond unless it's in the form of a question. Rules, y'know.
Q) >sigh< Aren’t you just listing a bunch of keywords?
A) Perhaps. Although if I was mentioning important keywords, I would have included ones like Astra Young Readers, Beaming Books, POW! Kids Books, Tilbury House, Eerdmans Books for Young Readers, and Susan Schadt Press.
Q) But those aren’t answers to questions! That’s just a list of publishers you’ve worked with!
A) You mean, “publishers with whom I’ve worked.” And by the way, that wasn’t a question, either.
Q) Ugh. Don't you feel you're being disingenuous by offering a FAQs page when literally NONE of these questions are asked “frequently??”
A) Oh, you’d be surprised how many people ask these same questions.
Q) Good grief, why am I wasting my time?
A) That’s actually one of the most popular ones.
Q) I'm out of here.
A) It needs to be in the form of a quest--
Q) Oh, shut up!!
